#600: Untitled

something broke today, well it's cracks finally gave way, and what it contained leaked out, and made a mess deep inside my mind...
a confusing mess that lapped against banks, dripped depletion, and now coagulates into lonliness.
if you look into it long enough you imagine bruise colours, but also dark greens, which remind me of life in the past.

after walking through a trail in the dark, arrive at a place to hear the sound of water.
soon an oval shape comes to vision. a flash illuminates the scene for a split second, but then darkness, again –post-flash darkness. look into the camera memory to see where you are:
darkness at the edge of darkness, water pool as arrival, departure through forest.
then friends
they gather outside immediate experience, but thier presence has its effect.
slowly back-step, without looking back, away from the well.

something to break, something to begin:
is belief the color of a bruise?
is green the color of a question's answer?
what color should to choose for guilt?

#599: Friend Opportunity

i used to shoot feet in secret, mostly on trains. because i rode an hour and a half one way, and i think feet are funny, with all their curves, secret spaces, and capacity for stink.

natalie is a korean girl who passed through chiang mai on her way to bangcok. we hung out for a few days- i told her about the way i understand the relationship between a photo document and the thing to which it refers. she told me about an abusive boss in singapore, and desire to end up in nyc.

one day she came with me to see the blind masseur, shinchai. it turned out that she got a treatment from his assistant, leo, as i got my training. later we took leo to a reggae bar.

i don't shoot feet in secret anymore, but i still love to look at them. i am convinced that a foot's attributes tattle on a persons secrets, and that one of it's parts is a window to the soul.

#588: Spring Swamp

"look! the horizon bisects an emerging circle!"
that is what i saw when i took made this image on a walk in the woods outside denton, texas.

oak, flood, sun, decomposition.

breathless, uncertain about the reality of the sudden vision,
i steal a moment and put it in a box.
who gets to say in what way we get to experience our art?

q. who mediates those moments?
a. muse.

thank you Rachel, lover of life, magpies, and for your overarching vision.

i want to make a big print of this image, on paper, and hang it in a quiet room- so i can remember the day a swamp suffused it's vision upon me.

or hang it in the bathroom: as a metaphor for a bowel.

#598: Toast

i did this shot as a kind of toast to myself, on my birthday: yellow napkin in kitsch crystal- that suits me at 43.
i did the shot in the kitchen, in natural light. the shot was inspired by the light.
at a certain time of the day, through a skylight, a brilliant beam shows herself, if only for a moment.
it was a nice moment for me and my camera. sometimes i use photography to order and extend my consciousness,
that is what was happening during the making of this image- the light and various elements in the composition,
and the color, and reflections and distortions... that’s how i discovered how i would feel on my birthday.
there was a song playing, with special memories for me, in the background. it's called duca. i discovered the song in
music store, listening on headphones. then the song became special for other reasons, and now, even though
the rhythm is upbeat, and the melody is j-pop cutsey, it is extremely sad...
bright, shadowy, empty cup, fill it with a new set of experiences. i drink a toast to myself, to life, to love.